The Little World of Barnum T Jugbat

I have noticed recently an alarming tendency for customers to form queues while waiting to be served at the bar in pubs. I’m not sure where this aberration comes from but it strikes at the heart of pub-going tradition.

The pub is an amazing institution where all are equal, some more than others. If there is space at the bar go and fill it. Any barperson worth their salt knows who is next and who deserves to be served served.

Yes, you might have a loud voice and wave your credit card around but it won’t endear you to the very person who holds your future in their hands. Neither will standing behind the person being served help, all you are doing is blocking the way for others to walk past. A sure way to upset the bar person is to be asked what you want and then turn round and ask your companions what they want. You won’t get served in a hurry next time I assure you.

No, you just need to be assertive, confident, polite, and know what you want. A smile always helps. But for God’s sake don’t queue, it isn’t natural and doesn’t help the natural order of things.

Could anyone please explain how this anomaly started and the benefits of queueing in a pub? And yes, to the several persons who have asked me if I know there’s a queue? Yes, I can see it, but I don’t know what it’s for.

It’s already past the middle of January, the days are drawing out, it’s milder than usual, and there is so much to look forward to.
I would recommend retirement to everyone, the only pain is that, for most people, you have to wait for it. The bad back, knees, hands, neck etc are a challenge rather than an obstruction. All can be accommodated somehow. Alright, so I can’t do walks over 5 miles, or cycle more than 15 miles, with seizing up but within that there is so much to.do. Don’t forget the Old Gits Bus and Rail Cards. Both are a ticket to great fun. Even without them a bus journey is only £3.00, less than most pints.
On Saturday I used my Old Gits Railcard to travel to Whittlesea, in the Fens, for the annual Straw Bear Festival. A sign of the times, I was the only one from Norwich on the Stupid O’clock train.
On arrival, us old hands commented on how old the weather was in this notorious frost hell. An Amble along the canal, collecting Munzees, took me to the George Hotel for ‘Spoons breakfast and first pint. And it was still only 09:30. After I had time to complete an Adventure Lab, deploy and collect several Munzees, and visit Sadie’s for another beer before the parade. In case you’re wondering, I was sensible and only took my half pint tankard so that after the first pint I could drink sensibly.
The parade was it’s usual excellent self with a very athletic Straw Bear and many sides of Molly, Morris, and other pagan groups. Needless to say the parade ended in it’s usual confused melee.
After it was the annual trek to the Straw Beer pub for another drink and more Munzees. A return to the centre for more beer, dancing and Chippy Sue’s for routine sustenance.
After carefully missing the afternoon train, I blame Doc Martin ans Stevie D for that, it was a wander back to the Railway for a swiftie and the return train via Ely.
On our return I took it upon myself to take the Doc across to the road to the Com@pleat Angler for a pint of Elgood’s Blackberry Porter and remind him his bike was still at the station. Myself, I managed to miss every bus on the walk home but was greeted by the lovely wife and a plate of mushy peas with a pie.
Get out there and enjoy it. Or call me and we can enjoy it together.

We know that the pub and brewing industry is struggling and that we are all being asked to help. After due consideration I have set myself a challenge, purely to help the industry you understand, during the usually quiet months of January and February.
I will be attempting a ‘PUB ODDITY’. By my reckoning when you search for a pub on the CAMRA website you can use 61 filters. I aim to cover as many of them in the two given months by visiting a different pub for each filter. I will cover 60 of them, the one filter I will not cover is ‘smoking’. It’s a personal thing but I’m not sure why it is still included as a filter anyway.
Who is interested in joining the journey ,to do more than me, or complete the 59 before me? Mind you, just following the Norwich Branch social calendar you could probably cover half of them.
The list is:
1. OPEN
2. CLOSED
3. CAMRA VOUCHER SCHEME
4. MEMBER DISCOUNT SCHEME
5. CLUB ALLOWS CAMRA VISITORS
6. PUB
7. CLUB
8. CASK ALE
9. BOTTLE CONDITIONED BEER
10. KEG CONDITIONED BEER
11. REAL CIDER
12. GOOD BEER GUIDE
13. BEER QUALITY ANY
14. BEER QUALITY 1 & ABOVE
15. BEER QUALITY 2 & ABOVE
16. BEER QUALITY 3 & ABOVE
17. CASK MARQUE 5 STAR
18. CASK MARQUE 4 STAR
19. HISTORIC INTERIOR
20. COMMUNITY OWNED/RUN
21. PUBS WITH OUTSTANDING CONVERSIONS AND RESTORATIONS
22. LOCALE
23. CASK MARQUE
24. USES AUTOVAC
25. BEER FESTIVAL
26. QUIET
27. CAMRA VOUCHER SCHEME
28. MEMBER DISCOUNT SCHEME
29. CLUB ALLOWS CAMRA VISITORS
30. HISTORIC INTERIOR 3 STARS
31. HISTORIC INTERIOR 2 STARS
32. HISTORIC INTERIOR 1 STAR
33. CONVERSION
34. NEW BUILD
35. RESTORATION
36. MUSEUM
37. COMMUNITY OWNDE
38. COMMUNITY RUN
39. COMMUNITY SUPPORTED
40. ACTIVE CAMPAIGN
41. SPORTS TV
42. LUNCHTIME MEALS
43. EVENING MEALS
44. LIVE MUSIC
45. GARDEN
46. FAMILY FRIENDLY
47. DISABLED ACCESS
48. PARKING
49. DOG FRIENDLY
50. ACCOMMODATION
51. CAMPING
52. EVENTS
53. FUNCTION ROOM
54. GAMES
55. LINED GLASSES
56. NEWSPAPERS
57. REAL FIRE
58. RESTAURANT
59. SEPARATE BAR
60. WIFI

Almost daily I hear about people do8ng things for charity and asking for donations. I am not sure about this. I willingly buy raffle tickets for charity. I am happy to pay and may get something back. But sponsorship is a different matter. If the allotted task is in itself worthwhile I may consider it nut others I query.

Running so many marathons in so many days, sitting in a bath of custard for 24 hours, having your head shaved, not drinking for a month, so what how does that help the world. I would be happier if the person did something useful like volunteering in a care home for a day, did a litterpick, helped restore a historic site or something similar. That way everyone benefits.

I get the feeling that many sponsored events are just an extension of what a person would do anyway. I know many of them are a challenge and should be encouraged but I feel pressure is put upon others to contribute amd many do. I’m not being curmudgeonly on purpose but it may be the fast approaching festival season is blighting my outlook.

Cheers everyone.

It’s Saturday morning, the only definite date in my diary is going to watch Norwich City play QPR at Carrow Road this afternoon. The rest of the weekend is free. But is it?

I have two reports to write, one of them for a meeting I can’t attend but starts at 12:00 today, a draining board full of washing up, a pile of ironing, a bike to adjust, batteries to replace as three items all failed on the same day, over 1000 unopened emails, a dog to walk, trees to prune, an allotment in need of attention, and a minor tsunami of tasks that are all part of my many and varied interests. Oh, and I have to pick up my newly repaired dentures by 14:00, the dentist having found them after losing them for a week.

I have already vowed not to have a drink this weekend after a heavy week of socialising, and then looking at my credit card statement. It looks like I live in a pub. I will, apart from walking Amber B’Starr-Dogg, maintain a healthy exercise regime and walk or cycle everywhere. I enjoy both, even with decrepit knees, back and hands, as long as I’m wearing the appropriate clothing.

So, thinking about it, no, I don’t have a free weekend but a lot of opportunities to do things, meet people, enjoy myself, and collapse in a satisfied heap at the end of it.

oh, and if anyone wants to meet to socialise, just call. Even if I’m on the ginger beer. Cheers.

my first post in some time due to the fact I’m a technical idiot. After miraculously setting up this blog and posting my mind went blank. First of all I couldn’t find it, when I did I couldn’t open it, when I did I couldn’t work out how how to post, them life overtook and I was busy with it, but now I’m back , yippee yippee yippee.

Is it just me or do other find the interweb etc totally confusing, even the so called simple things? I have so many passwords it would fill a book but even I know u shouldn’t write them down. I did have a secret formula but now it’s repeating itself and I’ve also miscalculated so some don’t follow it. My fingerprint mostly works, but my hands are usually mucky, which doesn’t hepl. Facial recognition doesn’t as I wear glasses and the time delay between being sent a link or code is OK provided you ain’t in the middle of Norfolk with no signal. What I suggest is a link to my DNA which would be instantly recognised. Now there’s a challenge for someone.

And the applications applications, why do I keep getting links to things I don’t need or want? Apparently I have an Instagram account, what’s that, and others I haven’t discovered. How did that happen? Was it AI, did I press the wrong button, did I consciously set them up but my fading memory has forgotten or is pure paranoia? Whatever it is it adds to the richness of life in a curiously infuriating yet satisfying way.

However, I’m back, so here’s to more inane observations.

Cheers

it’s been sometime since I posted anything. The main reason being that, due to my technical idiocy, I couldn’t work out how to do so. Like many other modern technologies I find this site confusing at not at all logical. It has so many things going on, most of which I do not understand or, I suspect, need. Today I have found out how to write this post almost by accident so am taking the time to write something. Who knows if I will be able to repeat the trick tomorrow.

This happens with many things I do using technology. My wife’s had the same car for over 3 years but there are still buttons I dare not press. The other day I pressed a button in error and switched the air conditioning on. I could not turn it off and spent the remainder of the journey freezing for the very cold air being blasted out.

The washing machine is another. I have given up trying to match the programmes to the washing instructions on many garments. I stick to one or two tried tried and trusted ones that, bar the odd colour change, seem to work.

And mobile phones, tablets and laptops? Even the simplest tasks seem to reinvent themselves themselves with a myriad of choices and offers. I like to think I can cope but ……. Only the other day I discovered I have an Instagram account. What is it, where did come from and how do I use it?

Having said that, when it works, modern technology helps life tremendously. But please, can we keep it as simple as possible?

The 46th Norwich Beer Festival begins on the! 17th October and ends on the 2nd November. The link is https://www.facebook.com/groups/NorwichBeerFestival/?ref=share .Unlike most of the previous festivals it will not be at it’s spiritual home of St Andrews and Blackfriars Halls. Building work continues. This year it will be peripatetic, covering three sites with a host of fringe events. It’s a great event that has evolved over the years from just Blackfriars Hall to the whole complex. It has been the making, and mainstay, of the Norwich and District branch of CAMRA. Many friendships and contacts have been made, business opportunities created and has been is a jewel in the multi faceted life of Norwich and Norfolk.

I can recommend a visit to both the festival and Norwich itself, outside of the event there are so many great pubs and interesting places to visit in the city. The inhabitants are friendly, mostly, unless you mention the Binmen down the road. It’s a bike friendly city, although there are hills everywhere, two cathedrals, a castle, river through the middle and the countries oldest cast concrete public urinal ( now sadly disused).

The festival itself features many ales, ciders and world beers, and an eclectic mix of volunteer staff. Thoroughly entertaining, they are only too pleased to help and demonstrate their knowledge, or lack, of the subject. Many are old hands although new faces appear every year. Treat them all gently and you will be surprised at the warm Norfolk welcome you will receive.

Thas th’ lot fer to’day bor. Gotta be a troshin’.

The last few days I’ve been cycling around Norwich, my home town. Despite Noel Coward’s view, ‘Very flat, Norfolk’, Norwich is a very hilly place. With the River Wensum flowing through the middle you can’t go anywhere without hills. As a cyclist there are easier and harder routes to get to places and as I struggled up St Andrews Hill I started thinking about this. In it’s wisdom the city council has built up a network of cycle only roads, shared pathways, cycle routes, cycle racks, and cycle crossings. All of them routinely, and the city council staff, come in for criticism from cycling organisations, drivers and the general public. Even taking into account the general malaise of complaining about everything regardless this seems unfair.

The cycling facilities might not always be joined up or convenient but they exist for us all to take advantage of. The issue isn’t cyclist, car drivers, taxis, buses, lorries or anything else other than us as individuals. The others are lumps of metal we use. It’s our thoughts and behaviours that turn them into dangerous objects. If we were all more tolerant, thoughtful, and proactive cycling and the world in general would be a better place.

But to get back to Norwich. Much of the centre is shared pathways, making it convenient for considerate cyclists and pedestrians both. I find slowly freewheeling with plenty of audible ‘Excuse me’s’ and ‘Thank you’s’ make life pleasant all round, as does acknowledging drivers as we wait for each other to pass. There are green pedalways to the outskirts and beyond and a number of proactive cycling organisations all doing their bit. We have several very good bike shops anf pubs par excellence.

The only blot on the scene is the Northern Distributor Road, our northern bypass. Ironically it wasn’t built by the city council. It has a cycle path along it. I have ridden it several times and it isn’t for the faint hearted. Snaking from one side of the NDR to the other, varying surfaces, uncontrolled crossings of busy main roads, diversions away from the bypass and sneaky dead ends for the unknowing it is a challenge. Why not give it a try if you want your hair to turn white.

Norwich is a great place to cycle, let’s all enjoy it together.